It’s easy to lose your composure while dealing with the intense emotions of divorce. It’s even harder to remain calm if you’ve been betrayed, wronged or harmed in other ways during the course of your marriage.
However, showing dignity and class during divorce can help put a positive spin on a painful situation. It will also remind you that even if your circumstances feel beyond your control, you always have the power to choose your reactions.
You can stay dignified during a divorce by:
1) Being a problem solver
Playing the blame game, having a poor attitude or being unwilling to compromise won’t help you during a divorce.
Even if you know that you’ve been wronged, and if you passionately want to defend yourself, take a step back and consider the bigger picture.
Saying your piece or lashing out might help you feel better for five minutes, but will you feel good about what you’ve said two days from now?
Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you, try to be a problem solver. Consult with people who can help you, and offer positive solutions for tricky challenges.
Remember that you can compromise while still standing firm on the things that matter most.
2) Treating everyone like equals
Fundamentally, a divorce is between you and your spouse, but you’ll probably be working with a legal team, and family members may be involved as well.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, even if they aren’t “on your side”. Listen to and acknowledge people’s opinions, and own up to mistakes that you’ve made.
Follow the Golden Rule and treat others the way that you want to be treated.
By the same token, it’s okay to let someone know if you aren’t comfortable with their behavior. If you don’t want to hear unsolicited advice, or if you’re tired of being pushed toward an arrangement that you’re not satisfied with, it’s wise to put your foot down in a kind but firm way.
3) Focusing on the things that matter most
If you have children, they matter most, and their interests must be represented in a divorce. If you were in a childless marriage, you might still have some big issues to tackle if you own assets like a home, cars or a business.
Don’t waste time bickering about inconsequential things–save your energy for addressing the big stuff.
4) Staying classy on social media
Yes, it’s tempting at times to chronicle your divorce on social media. Whether you’re trying to garner sympathy from friends or if you’re just wanting to vent, it’s not wise to share personal details, especially if legal proceedings are ongoing.
Save your vent sessions for a different time and place.
5) Being fair and honest
Some couples dig themselves into a hole by hiding assets, making false claims or unfairly casting blame on one another.
Honesty goes hand in hand with dignity, and you’ll feel better about yourself if you are truthful and fair–even if it’s a struggle.
If you agree to do something, follow through, and don’t cause unnecessary delays.
Dragging the divorce process out won’t do you any favors, and moving forward will be easier if you finalise the divorce swiftly and amicably.
If you are separating, please talk to us about the process you need to take to get the best possible outcome for everyone involved.
Call us on 07 3161 2762 or email at [email protected]