Never a truer word could be spoken … Ultimately, marriage is work – sometimes it is hard work.
When you have chosen the right, compatible partner who is both your love and your best friend who you respect (and vice versa), and you are both committed to the relationship, the effort required to make a marriage work is well worth it.
Bit separation and divorce still requires time and energy – and sometimes it can be too hard to bare.
There are so many factors that can impact on a relationship’s ability to thrive and survive, including:
- Complete reliance on a spouse for one’s own happiness;
- Too much self-sacrificing;
- Too much dominance in the relationship;
- Physical or emotional distance;
- Emotional baggage;
- Selfishness; and
- Lack of family support for the relationship.
Along with many, many others.
The decision of whether to stay in an unhappy relationship or to leave can be one of the biggest decisions you make in your lifetime.
It might take you a long time to actually make the decision. For some, it can take years to find the courage to leave.
Many people “mark time” in a relationship that has passed its use-by date, wondering if things will improve, hoping to recapture the joys of the past, fearing the unknown (or that they will regret a decision to leave), or simply being unwilling to shut the door on a marriage that started with so much promise and has had so much time and effort invested into it.
Yet for some relationships time does run out and whether there are children involved or not, the health and wellbeing of the individuals within the couple and the family unit depends upon separation.
Some couples may stay together simply for the kids.
This ultimately benefits nobody – children are smart, and would rather have two happy separated parents than live in a miserable home with parents who fight all the time or no longer love each other. Kids emulate what they have witnessed as children when they grow up.
Do you want your kids repeating your mistakes?
However, if divorce is inevitable, don’t give your children false hope for reconciliation.
Encourage your child to communicate openly, and if you feel it might help, consider professional family counselling.
At the end of the day, you need to both be adult for the benefit of your kids during divorce.
Put your own feelings aside in front of your kids, never lay guilt on your kids for enjoying the company of the other parent, and never be openly negative.
Behave towards and about your ex as you’d hope they would towards you. Your kids will reap the rewards of a peaceful transition through divorce.
When leaving your marriage is the right decision, it’s simply closing an old chapter in life so you can begin a new, fresh, and hopeful one.
If you are separating, please talk to us about the process you need to take to get the best possible outcome for everyone involved.
Call us on 07 3161 2762 or email at [email protected]