Most parents who come through our door after a separation ask the same question before anything else: do I have to do mediation, or can I just go straight to a judge?
The honest answer is: it depends, but for most parenting disputes, yes, you do have to try first. What “try” actually means, and whether any of the exceptions apply to you, is where most people get tripped up.
The common assumption is that family dispute resolution is either a court hearing in disguise, or a kind of couples therapy where someone decides who was right. It’s neither. And understanding what it actually is, before you spend months in the wrong process, matters more than people realise.
Here’s what nobody tells you at the start: the law doesn’t just encourage you to try FDR. For parenting matters, it requires it. But the requirement has real exceptions, and some of them are important if your situation involves fear, safety or urgency.
By the end of this article, you’ll know whether FDR applies to you, what it looks like in practice, when you can skip it, and what to do if it doesn’t work.
Key Takeaways
- FDR is compulsory for most parenting matters: before you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for parenting orders, you must generally have attempted family dispute resolution and made a genuine effort to resolve things.
- Exemptions do exist: family violence, risk to a child, urgency and a few other circumstances mean FDR is not required, and in some situations it’s not safe to attempt it.
- FDR is not compulsory for property matters: courts expect you to have tried, but there is no strict legal requirement to hold a section 60I certificate before filing a property application.
- A section 60I certificate is not a “win” or a “loss”: it’s a record of what happened at FDR, whether you attended, whether you made a genuine effort, or whether FDR was assessed as inappropriate.
- FDR can be done by shuttle or online: you do not have to sit in the same room as your former partner, particularly where there is a history of family violence or significant conflict.
- An agreement reached in FDR is not automatically binding: you need either a parenting plan or consent orders to give it formal effect, and only one of those is enforceable.
What is family dispute resolution and how is it different from mediation?
Family dispute resolution, often called FDR, is a structured process where a trained and accredited practitioner helps separated people work through disagreements, usually about children, but sometimes about property and money too.
It’s a form of mediation. The difference is that FDR under Australian family law refers specifically to the accredited process governed by the Family Law Act 1975, which carries legal significance, including the ability to issue a section 60I certificate. “Mediation” is the broader term and can describe anything from a formal court-ordered conference to an informal conversation with a third party.
In FDR, the practitioner does not make decisions. That point is worth repeating, because it’s the thing people most often get wrong. The practitioner is not a judge. They don’t rule on who gets the kids or who was the better parent. Their job is to structure the conversation, manage the dynamic, and help both people reach their own agreement.
What the practitioner does do is screen for safety before the process begins. If there are concerns about family violence, coercion or a significant power imbalance, a good practitioner will identify that and adjust the process or decline to proceed.
Key Point: FDR and mediation are related but not the same thing. Only an accredited FDR practitioner can issue the section 60I certificate you’ll need to file most parenting applications. A general mediator cannot issue that certificate.
Is family dispute resolution compulsory before going to court about the kids?
For most parenting matters, yes.
Under Australian family law, before you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for parenting orders, you must have attempted FDR and made a genuine effort to resolve the dispute. This is a federal legal requirement, not a Queensland one specifically. It applies everywhere in Australia.
The requirement is set out in section 60I of the Family Law Act 1975. It means that if you want a judge to make decisions about where your children live, how much time they spend with each parent, or how parental responsibility is handled, you first have to have tried FDR. And you have to be able to show that you tried, which is where the section 60I certificate comes in.
“Genuine effort” matters. Attending one session and stonewalling the process is not enough. Courts expect both parties to have genuinely engaged.
What this does not mean is that FDR will always resolve things. It won’t, in some cases. But the law requires you to try before the court will generally hear you.
The practical reality is this: if you file a parenting application without a section 60I certificate and without one of the recognised exemptions, the court will usually not accept your application. It’s not just procedural. It signals to the court how you approach dispute resolution, and that matters throughout the whole case.
Expert Tip: If you’re not sure whether you have a genuine exemption, get legal advice before you decide to skip FDR. Filing without the right groundwork doesn’t just delay things. It can damage your credibility with the court from day one.
When do I not have to go to family dispute resolution?
There are recognised circumstances where FDR is not required, and some where it would be actively unsafe to attempt it.
The Family Law Act sets out the main exemptions. You don’t need to attempt FDR before filing a parenting application if:
- there has been family violence or abuse, or there is a risk of it, and attending FDR would expose you or your child to an unacceptable risk
- the matter is urgent, for example if there is an immediate safety concern for a child
- you are applying by consent, meaning both parties already agree and you’re simply asking the court to formalise that agreement
- there has been a serious contravention of an existing parenting order and the party in breach has no reasonable excuse
- one party is unable to participate in FDR effectively, for example due to serious illness, incapacity or distance that cannot reasonably be addressed
The family violence exemption is the one most people ask about, and it’s the most important to understand carefully.
Being a victim of family violence does not automatically mean FDR is off the table. In many situations, an accredited practitioner can conduct FDR safely using shuttle mediation or online sessions, where you never share a physical space with your former partner. But if the violence or control is serious, ongoing or recent, and would compromise your ability to negotiate freely, then the exemption may apply and you should not be pushed into a process that puts you at risk.
A good FDR practitioner will screen for this before any joint process begins. If you’re unsure, speak with a lawyer before you agree to attend anything.
Key Point: The exemptions exist because the law recognises that FDR is not appropriate for every situation. If you’re frightened, the answer is not to force yourself through a process that could make things worse. It’s to get advice on which pathway applies to you.
Do I have to try family dispute resolution for property and money issues?
Not in the same formal way as for parenting matters.
There is no legal requirement to hold a section 60I certificate before filing a property settlement application. However, courts do expect parties to have made genuine attempts to resolve financial disputes before litigation begins. The pre-action procedures in family law require you to exchange relevant financial information and make a genuine effort to settle before filing, but this is different from the strict FDR requirement that applies to parenting.
In practice, many separating couples address both parenting and financial matters in the same FDR process, particularly when using a private mediator with experience in both areas. That can be efficient and sensible, provided it’s the right environment to address both.
For property matters, if you and your former partner reach agreement through FDR or negotiation, you can formalise that as consent orders through the court. That gives the agreement legal force. An informal agreement, even in writing, does not provide the same protection.
Expert Tip: Don’t treat FDR for parenting and financial discussions as two completely separate tracks if you can help it. Decisions about where the children live affect financial positions, and vice versa. A coordinated approach, with legal advice alongside the process, usually produces more durable outcomes.
What does family dispute resolution look like step by step?
The process has a consistent shape, even if the details vary between services.
It starts with intake and screening. Before any joint session takes place, the FDR service will contact each party separately. They gather background information, assess the issues in dispute, and screen for safety concerns including family violence and significant power imbalance. This step is not optional. Reputable practitioners take it seriously.
After intake, each party may have an individual session with the practitioner. This gives you a chance to explain your situation, understand the process, and raise any concerns before the joint work begins.
The joint session is where the substantive discussion happens. Both parties, either together in the room or separately in shuttle format, work through the issues with the practitioner guiding the conversation. The focus is on what the children need, what arrangements are workable, and what each party’s genuine concerns are.
If agreement is reached, the practitioner can help document it. That document is not legally binding in itself. To make it binding, you need to take further steps, either a parenting plan or consent orders through the court.
If agreement isn’t reached, or if FDR breaks down, the practitioner issues a section 60I certificate, which you can then use to file a court application.
Key Point: FDR is not a one-off meeting. It has structure. The intake and screening steps are not formalities. They are the part that determines whether the process is even safe and appropriate for your situation.
What issues can we sort out in family dispute resolution?
FDR can cover a wide range of issues that arise after separation.
For parenting, the common issues include where the children will primarily live, how much time they spend with each parent, how decisions about education, health and religion will be made, and arrangements for holidays and special occasions.
FDR can also address child support, though in most cases that is handled through Services Australia rather than through a court or mediation process. If parents want an arrangement that differs from the Services Australia assessment, a private child support agreement or consent order may be needed, and an FDR or negotiation process can help reach that.
Property and financial matters can be discussed in FDR, though for complex financial disputes, a specialist mediator or collaborative law process may be more appropriate than a standard FDR session.
What FDR cannot do is determine legal entitlements for you, make orders, enforce agreements or override existing court orders.
Expert Tip: Come into FDR knowing what you actually need day to day, not just what you think you’re entitled to. The most useful agreements come from parents who can say clearly: here’s the children’s routine, here’s the school, here’s what needs to work logistically. That’s the foundation for something that will actually hold.
What am I actually entitled to when we talk about the kids?
This is one of the most common questions, and it’s worth being direct about it.
Australian family law does not use the word “custody”. The framework uses parental responsibility, which refers to decisions about major long-term issues, and live with or spend time with, which describes the practical arrangements.
There is no automatic entitlement to a 50/50 split of a child’s time. The law’s starting point is that both parents have equal shared parental responsibility for major decisions, but that does not mean equal time. What arrangements the court will order, or what you might agree to in FDR, depends on what is in the best interests of the child.
The factors the court and FDR practitioners consider include the child’s relationship with each parent, the practical ability of each parent to meet the child’s needs, the distance between homes, the child’s own views (depending on age and maturity), and any history of family violence or abuse.
FDR is not the place to argue your entitlements. It is the place to build a working arrangement. The distinction matters. Approaching FDR as a negotiation about rights tends to produce worse outcomes than approaching it as a practical planning exercise for the children.
Key Point: The question “what am I entitled to? ” is a legal question. The question “what will actually work for my children? ” is what FDR is designed to answer. They’re related, but they’re not the same question, and conflating them in the session usually makes agreement harder.
Do I have to sit in the same room as my ex during family dispute resolution?
No.
Shuttle mediation is a well-established alternative where you and your former partner are in separate rooms, and the practitioner moves between you. Many services also offer online FDR, where parties participate from different locations. This is particularly relevant where there is a history of family violence, significant conflict, or where one party is in a different city.
A reputable FDR service will discuss this with you during intake. If you are concerned about being in the same physical space, say so early. It is not an unusual request and it does not undermine the process.
If the prospect of any form of joint process is unsafe for you, the family violence exemption may apply and a different pathway may be more appropriate. That’s a conversation to have with a lawyer before you commit to attending.
Expert Tip: You do not have to explain or justify a request for shuttle or online FDR. If you need it, ask for it. A good practitioner will not treat that request as evidence of bad faith.
How long will family dispute resolution take and how many sessions will we need?
The honest answer is: it varies considerably.
An intake session for each party, followed by one or two joint sessions, is typical for straightforward parenting disputes where both parties are willing to engage. That might take four to eight weeks from initial contact to the point where an agreement is documented or a certificate is issued.
More complex matters, or situations where one party is reluctant or where the issues overlap with financial arrangements, can take longer. Three to four sessions over several months is not unusual.
If one party refuses to engage at all, the process can end quickly. The FDR practitioner will issue a certificate recording that the other party declined to attend, and you can proceed to court.
The overall timeline also depends on the availability of the FDR service and the schedules of both parties. Government-funded services sometimes have waitlists. Private mediators generally have faster availability.
Key Point: Four to eight weeks is a reasonable working estimate for willing parties in a straightforward matter. If your matter is urgent, say so from the first contact with the service. Urgency can affect both the FDR pathway and whether a court exemption applies.
How much does family dispute resolution cost in Queensland?
Cost depends on the type of service.
Government-funded FDR services, including those provided through Relationships Australia and some Legal Aid Queensland conferences, are available at low or no cost, with fees often means-tested based on income. These services are a genuine option for people who cannot afford private rates.
Private FDR practitioners typically charge by the hour or half-day. Rates vary, but for a private mediator with family law experience you should expect to pay somewhere in the range of several hundred to over a thousand dollars per person per session. Complex matters handled by senior practitioners will be at the higher end.
Legal Aid Queensland provides FDR services for eligible clients, and their family dispute resolution conferences are free to participants who qualify. Eligibility depends on income, assets and the nature of the matter.
When assessing cost, factor in not just the FDR fees but the cost of legal advice to prepare for and support you through the process. Attending FDR without understanding your legal position can result in an agreement you later regret.
Expert Tip: The cheapest FDR process is not always the right one for your situation. If your matter involves complex parenting arrangements, family violence, or significant assets, a private practitioner with specific experience may produce a better outcome and save you far more in downstream legal costs.
Who runs family dispute resolution and how do I choose the right practitioner?
FDR must be conducted by an accredited family dispute resolution practitioner, registered under the Family Law Act. That accreditation matters, because only an accredited practitioner can issue a section 60I certificate.
Providers include Relationships Australia, Legal Aid Queensland, the Family Relationship Centres network, and private mediators who hold accreditation. Private practitioners are often lawyers or psychologists with additional FDR training, and some specialise in high-conflict or family violence matters.
When choosing a practitioner, consider whether they have experience with your specific issues, whether they have a clear safety screening process, whether they offer shuttle or online options, and how quickly they can begin the process.
A family lawyer can help you identify a suitable practitioner and prepare properly for the process. That combination, a good practitioner and sound legal advice alongside, tends to produce the most workable outcomes.
Key Point: Choosing a practitioner is not just an administrative step. The practitioner’s experience and approach will shape the process significantly. It’s worth asking questions before you commit.
What is a section 60I certificate and when will I need one?
A section 60I certificate is a document issued by an accredited FDR practitioner. It records what happened at FDR, specifically whether each party attended, made a genuine effort, refused to attend, or whether FDR was assessed as inappropriate.
You will generally need a section 60I certificate to file a parenting application with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. Without it, and without a recognised exemption, the court will not accept most parenting applications.
The certificate does not say who “won” at FDR. It doesn’t say who was more reasonable or who caused the breakdown. What it does signal to the court is that the required step was taken, or wasn’t, and why.
There are different types of certificates. One type records that both parties attended and made a genuine effort. Another records that one party refused to attend or refused to make a genuine effort. A third records that the practitioner assessed FDR as inappropriate, often because of family violence or safety concerns.
The type of certificate matters. If the other party refused to engage, that is noted, and courts do take note of who made genuine efforts and who did not.
Key Point: A certificate showing that your former partner refused to attend, or refused to engage in good faith, is not a setback for you. It’s the document that allows you to file, and it tells the court something about how the other party is approaching resolution.
What happens if family dispute resolution does not work?
If FDR breaks down or fails to produce agreement, you receive a section 60I certificate and you can then file an application for parenting orders with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
Courts do not treat FDR failure as a mark against either party, provided both made genuine efforts. The court will focus on the substance of the parenting dispute and what is in the children’s best interests.
Once an application is filed, the court process begins. There will typically be a first hearing, known as a mention or directions hearing, where procedural matters are addressed. The court may order the parties to attend further dispute resolution, a family consultant’s assessment, or other steps before the matter is heard on its merits.
Family law litigation takes time. From filing to a final hearing, it can take anywhere from several months to a few years depending on the complexity of the dispute and the court’s workload. That is not said to discourage you. It’s said so you understand why FDR, even when it feels frustrating, is usually worth attempting seriously.
Expert Tip: Receiving a section 60I certificate is not the end of the process. It’s the beginning of the next one. What you do from that point, the orders you seek, the evidence you gather, the parenting arrangements you propose, matters enormously. Don’t wait until after FDR fails to get legal advice.
Will the agreement from family dispute resolution be legally binding?
Not automatically.
An agreement reached in FDR is just that: an agreement. Until it’s formalised, it has no legal force. If circumstances change or one party decides not to follow it, the other party has no straightforward way to enforce it.
There are two main options for making a parenting agreement binding.
A parenting plan is a written document signed by both parties. It records the agreed arrangements but is not enforceable as a court order. It can be varied by a later agreement between the parties, and if one party stops following it, you’d need to go back to court.
Consent orders are parenting orders made by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia by agreement. They are enforceable in the same way as any court order. If one party breaches them, there are legal consequences. Applying for consent orders after FDR is a common and sensible step where both parties have reached genuine agreement.
For property matters, consent orders are similarly the right mechanism to give an agreement legal effect. A property settlement that is not formalised as a consent order leaves both parties exposed.
Key Point: Reaching agreement is the hard part. Formalising it is the step most people underestimate. Don’t leave FDR with a handshake and assume it’s done.
How does family dispute resolution fit with separation, divorce and child support?
FDR sits between the moment of separation and, if things can’t be resolved, court proceedings.
Separation itself has no formal legal process. You separate when you decide your relationship is over and communicate that. Divorce is separate and later: a legal process that ends a marriage, available only after twelve months of separation.
FDR does not require you to be divorced. It can begin as soon as you need to sort out parenting or financial arrangements. In fact, it’s usually most useful early, before positions harden and legal costs accumulate.
Child support, for most families, is handled through Services Australia. FDR is not required for a standard child support assessment, but it can help if parents want an arrangement that differs from the formula assessment. That might involve a private child support agreement, which can be reached through FDR and then registered with Services Australia or formalised through the court.
Key Point: FDR doesn’t replace the divorce process, child support assessment or property settlement. It sits alongside them. Getting the timing right, and understanding which process addresses which issue, is part of what a family lawyer helps you map out.
Is family dispute resolution safe if there has been family violence or controlling behaviour?
This is the question that matters most, and it deserves a direct answer.
If you are frightened of your former partner, or if there has been family violence, coercive control or abuse in the relationship, FDR may not be appropriate for you. Attempting negotiation with someone who has power over you, even in a structured setting, can put you at risk and produce agreements that do not reflect your genuine wishes.
The law recognises this. The family violence exemption exists specifically to protect people in your situation. You are not required to attend FDR if doing so would expose you or your children to an unacceptable risk.
At the same time, the exemption is not absolute. In some situations, shuttle or online FDR can be conducted safely, with proper screening and separation throughout. An experienced practitioner who understands family violence dynamics will handle this carefully. The difference between a practitioner who understands family violence and one who doesn’t is significant.
If you are currently subject to a domestic violence order or are considering applying for one, that is relevant to the FDR process and to your family law matter overall. Queensland Magistrates Courts hear DVO applications. The two processes, a DVO and family law proceedings, can run alongside each other, and a family lawyer can help you understand how they interact.
If there has been violence and you’re not sure whether FDR is safe or an exemption applies, get legal advice before you agree to anything.
Expert Tip: An FDR practitioner who does not screen for family violence before beginning the process is not meeting the standard the law expects. If you are not asked about safety during intake, that’s a signal about the quality of the service.
How can I prepare for family dispute resolution without making things worse?
Preparation makes a real difference, both to the outcome and to how you experience the process.
Before you attend, think clearly about what you actually need. Not what you’re entitled to in the abstract, but what the children’s day-to-day life needs to look like: school pickups, medical appointments, overnight routines, holidays, communication between households. The more concretely you can articulate that, the more useful the session will be.
Get legal advice before you attend. Understanding your general legal position means you can participate in FDR with confidence, and avoid agreeing to something that doesn’t reflect what a fair outcome looks like.
Think about what your former partner’s concerns are, too. Not because you have to accommodate them all, but because knowing what they’re worried about helps you engage more strategically with the process.
Keep the focus on the children. FDR that centres on adult grievances tends to go nowhere. FDR that focuses on what the children need tends to produce workable outcomes.
Don’t agree to anything in the session that you’re not certain about. You can ask for time to consider. You can ask to get advice before signing anything.
Expert Tip: If you’re going into FDR with a former partner who you know uses pressure tactics or controlling behaviour, let the practitioner know during intake. You don’t have to prove it. You just have to raise it, so the practitioner can manage the dynamic appropriately.
What should I expect emotionally from the family dispute resolution process?
FDR is hard. It is often one of the most difficult conversations you will have.
Sitting across from, or being in the same building as, someone you are separated from, often someone you are angry with or frightened of or grieving, while you try to make practical decisions about your children is genuinely demanding. Most people find it more draining than they expect.
You might feel that the process is unfair, that the other party is not being honest, or that the practitioner is not hearing you. Those feelings are normal and do not mean the process has failed.
It can help to think of FDR not as a resolution of the relationship or an acknowledgement of what went wrong, but as a practical problem-solving exercise about your children’s future. The two things are separate, even if they don’t feel that way.
Going in with a support person, a trusted friend or family member, is not always possible in the session itself, but having someone you can debrief with afterwards matters. Legal advice before and after, so you’re not processing the experience alone, makes the whole thing more manageable.
Key Point: The emotional difficulty of FDR does not mean it isn’t working. Some of the most productive sessions are the ones that feel uncomfortable. The goal is not harmony. The goal is an agreement your children can live with.
How can C + K Family Lawyers support you through family dispute resolution?
We work with clients at every stage of the FDR process, from the initial question of whether it applies to them, through preparation and attendance, to formalising any agreement that comes out of it.
If you’re not sure whether FDR is compulsory in your situation, or whether an exemption applies, that’s the right starting point. Getting that wrong costs time and can affect your position with the court.
If you’re preparing for FDR and want to understand your legal position before you walk in, we can help you think through the issues and approach the session with clarity.
If FDR has broken down and you’re holding a section 60I certificate and wondering what comes next, we can help you understand what filing a parenting application involves and what a realistic pathway looks like.
If safety is a concern, that conversation starts immediately, because it changes everything about which pathway is right for you.
We’re Brisbane and Gold Coast based, and we act for clients across the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. If you’d like to talk through your situation, contact C + K Family Lawyers for a confidential, no-obligation conversation.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between a parenting plan and consent orders after FDR?
A parenting plan is a written agreement between you and your former partner. It records what you’ve agreed but is not enforceable as a court order. Consent orders are made by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia and are fully enforceable. If you want something you can rely on legally, consent orders are the right step after FDR.
What happens if my former partner refuses to attend FDR?
If your former partner declines to attend or refuses to engage genuinely, the FDR practitioner will issue a section 60I certificate recording that fact. You can then use that certificate to file a parenting application. The court will be aware that one party did not engage.
Can I attend FDR if there is already a domestic violence order in place?
Possibly, but not automatically. The existence of a DVO is a significant factor in the practitioner’s safety screening. In some cases, shuttle or online FDR can proceed safely. In others, the family violence exemption will apply and FDR will not be required. Get legal advice before agreeing to attend.
Does the court care whether I tried FDR before filing?
Yes. Courts expect parties to have made genuine efforts to resolve disputes before seeking judicial intervention. Demonstrating that you engaged genuinely with FDR, and that the process failed through no fault of your own, supports your credibility throughout the proceedings.
Do I need a lawyer to attend FDR with me?
In most FDR sessions, lawyers do not attend the joint session itself, though some models allow for lawyer-assisted mediation. What matters is that you have legal advice before and after. Going into FDR without understanding your legal position is the most common way people agree to arrangements they later regret.
This article is general information only and is not legal advice. Family law outcomes depend on your individual circumstances. For advice about your situation, speak with a qualified family lawyer.
About the Author
Christopher (Chris) Jones is the Principal Lawyer and co-founder of CK Family Lawyers, a Queensland family law firm. Chris advises on divorce, property settlement, parenting arrangements, binding financial agreements, mediation and domestic violence matters. After working in legal environments where clients felt depersonalised and lost in jargon, he co-founded the firm with Krystina Jones on the belief that people deserve family lawyers who genuinely care, and he works directly with his clients throughout their matters.
